Getting back to school safely this year will require all of us to be on board with masks

When it comes to getting kids to wear masks to school this year, they can look to so many professionals who wear masks all the time already. Policemen, firemen, construction workers, doctors, nurses, scientists and the list goes on of jobs that require masks. Reminding kids of this is just one of the ways to inspire them to wear their masks with pride. 

Masks have become part of the new normal to keep yourself and others safe, but school will likely be the first time your child has to wear a mask for so many consecutive hours. 

There are ways to make this more manageable and maybe even a little fun for kids. Though kids are often more adaptable than we adults anticipate, it can still be hard for children to comprehend why it’s so important to wear masks, and it can be even harder to actually keep them on. 

Why we wear masks

It’s important to explain to your kids just a little bit of the science behind wearing masks so that they can relate to the importance of wearing them. The more children understand why they need to wear masks, the more willing they will be to actually wear them.

For starters, the CDC says, “COVID-19 spreads mainly from person to person through respiratory droplets produced when an infected person coughs, sneezes, talks, or raises their voice. These droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby or possibly be inhaled into the lungs.”  

The candle test 

One effective and engaging way to get a kid’s attention is a fun science experiment. Bill Nye recorded his experiment where he attempts to blow out a candle wearing different face coverings. He starts with a scarf wrapped around his face and successfully blows out the candle. In another attempt, he attempts to blow out the candle wearing a cloth face mask and is unable to extinguish the flame. 

@billnye

##WearAMask ##LearnOnTikTok ##TikTokPartner

♬ original sound – billnye

Although this cannot necessarily prove that the mask you are using is effective in containing droplets, it is a fun experiment to do with children to show them what the mask is supposed to do. If your child can easily blow out the candle, it is probably a good indication that you should get a different mask. 

Get kids involved to wear masks at school

Another great way to encourage your child to actually wear his or her mask is to have them involved in the selection process. 

• Sit down on Amazon or any other website and peruse masks together or print a selection for them to review.
• There are also DIY masks that you can create as a project together as a family. 
• Grab some iron-on decals or stickers and let your child decorate their own mask that they will be excited to wear. Check your school’s guidelines to see what kind of rules your schools has for masks.

As you get your children involved, make sure that you do your best to model mask-wearing in front of them. When you leave for a store, proudly exclaim that you have your mask ready-to-go. Positive reinforcement can go a long way, so when you see your child wearing his or her mask make sure to praise them and highlight the positive behavior. 

Practice makes progress for wearing masks

In some ways it seems like the pandemic has lasted forever, but wearing masks is just one of the many aspects that will take some time to get used to. To make it easier, here are some ways to practice mask-wearing with your kids: 

1. Practice for short periods of time: Wearing masks takes time to get used to. No one enjoys the feeling of not being able to breathe, especially when it’s still 80 degrees outside. By allowing your child to wear the mask for five-minute increments and gradually increasing the time, you can allow them to get used to wearing their masks for a longer time at school. 
2. Make it fun: Depending on the age of your child, making a game around mask-wearing could be an effective tool. Introduce masks in playtime by playing doctor, putting masks on stuffed animals, or make it a race to get it on. This will also help ensure that your child can take their mask on and off without assistance. By making mask-wearing fun, you are both encouraging them to successfully keep their mask on at school and also keeping the mood a little lighter. 
3. Delivering the message: Little reminders throughout the day about the importance of mask-wearing can help them become accustomed to wearing their masks. You know your child best and what interests them, so try to find a way to address mask-wearing in a way they will be receptive to.

Have extra masks handy

Wearing masks may be uncomfortable at times, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. When you find a mask you like, buy extra so that you can keep spare ones in the car, their backpack, and by the front door for easy access. Start with a few masks from different stores to see what styles your kids like best. Masks fit differently depending on each person’s size and facial structure, so what works for one family member may not be ideal for another.

Finding the right mask for your child to wear at school

Don’t settle for a mask that falls off or is uncomfortable to wear. There are some great masks out there that are easy to wear and breathable, but still provide adequate protection for you and your child.  Here are a few top picks for the best masks to start the new school year:

1. 32 Degrees Kid’s Unisex Face Cover, 8-pack

It may be worth the CostCo membership just for these masks. They are light, breathable and though they are easy to put on, they don’t fall off easily. They are also machine washable and come in an 8-pack so you can keep up with having a clean mask for school each day. They come in a variety of solid colors, vibrant and neutral, and even pass Bill Nye’s “candle test.”  They also have the mask for adults to match. 

2. Kid’s Unisex Face Mask (3 – pack)

These are your standard rectangle-shaped mask in a variety of colors and designs. They are also machine washable and have a metal nose clip to help the mask stay on better. 

3. 5y-10y Kids facemask Reusable 100% Cotton Face Mask washable 3 layer 3D with Nose Wire adjustable ear straps filter Pocket & Filter Option

This mask gives you the option to add filters for extra protection and also contain the nose wire. These handmade masks are lightweight, breathable and also have adjustable ear straps. 

4. Variety 5-Pack of Triple-Layer Cloth Face Masks for Kids

While you are doing some back to school shopping there, Old Navy’s masks come in a variety of solid colors, are breathable and are easy to take on and off. 

5. Kids’ 2pk Cloth Face Masks – Cat & Jack™

Target’s face masks are soft, comfortable and one size fits most kids three and up. These masks include the nose wire, have two layers and a pocket for a filter (not included.)

A few more notes to consider when buying masks for this year:

• It is a good idea to buy several styles of comfortable masks so that your child can choose what works best for them.

• Masks with nose wires often work better for children who wear glasses. If you use a mask with a filter pocket but no nose wire, you can repurpose a blue medical mask that has a nose wire in it, just trim it to size and insert it into the pocket.

• Some people experience dryness after prolonged mask use. Check that your child has access to drinking water throughout the day.

• If you have any questions about masks and safety, the American Academy of Pediatrics is a great source. 

This school year brings with it many unknowns and challenges, but by taking proactive measures we can make mask-wearing just a little easier and more effective for our kids and teachers to have a safe and successful school year.  

Note that the ATT is not a source of medical advice, and you should ask your pediatrician if you have any questions about the safety of any particular masks.

As we approach the upcoming school year, we recognize that our ATT teachers, administrators, families and students are concerned about the continued uncertainty of what this school year will look like.

All of our schools are faced with the task of the usual back to school planning, combined with the daunting need to plan for safely educating our community’s children during a worldwide epidemic.

Over the summer, we have seen our schools meet this challenge with creativity, perseverance, resourcefulness and much hard work. 

As the State of Illinois currently remains in Phase 4, all ATT schools are scheduled to open on time and in person. Each school, depending on its size and population is working hard to determine how to reopen in the least restrictive, yet safest manner. Schools will be following the Illinois State Board of Education and state and local boards of health guidelines.

In addition, some schools have seated medical oversight and planning committees to assure that their school is not just fulfilling the governmental guidelines, but more importantly, they are applying them correctly and effectively. Schools also have access to the ATT medical advisory board comprised of infectious disease doctors, school nurses and a pediatrician.

It is our hope and Tefillah that the situation continues to improve throughout the coming school year. At the same time, we are reassured to see our schools all building on lessons learned last spring and planning for contingency scenarios if stricter social distancing and possibly a return to remote learning is required. All of our schools have the common goal to minimize the disruption that might arise. 

ATT has worked with the Jewish Federation and other funders who are eager to help financially stabilize the schools and help them meet their needs in continuing education. The ATT acknowledges the generosity of the JUF and the Walder Family Foundation for very substantial support and concern they continue to show for our schools.

Helping ATT schools access available funds

ATT has been assisting schools in accessing and maximizing public relief funding by identifying opportunities, helping schools navigate the process to access these funds and assuring that local school districts, who typically are the gatekeepers for Title funds and the ESSER (Elementary and Secondary School Emergency Relief Fund), are distributing these funds equitably and in accordance with Federal rules.

Below are some recent ATT activities in this area:

• Consultation with Chicago Public Schools and four other public school districts to access the Federal CARES Act/Education Stabilization Fund and understanding appropriate uses of the funds. These consultations consist of the exchange of information and monitoring that our schools are getting their fair share.
• Numerous collaborative discussions with other nonpublic school representatives of the Illinois Coalition of Nonpublic Schools regarding opening schools in the fall and accessing CARES Act funding.
• Informing ATT schools of the processes they need to follow as details about the new funding unfold.
• Forwarding communication from the Illinois State Board of Education that impacts our schools.
• Assuring that remote learning requests are eligible for Title I funds.
• Successful efforts with Chicago Public Schools to reinstate IDEA Proportionate Share special education services for eligible students so that services could resume remotely. These services include speech, LD learning specialists and other LD interventions.
• Managing the required paperwork for Federal Title programs and tracking their progress for payment.

Our schools have also been able to access Federal Payroll Protection Loans (PPP) to assure that staff will continue to remain employed. ATT and JUF assisted schools in accessing this opportunity, and all of the schools benefited from this critical financial infusion.

To support our schools, the ATT is overseeing training to make this year as successful as possible.

ATT has been convening its Principals Council more frequently so that principals can hear each other’s ideas and concerns and network effectively. Schools can exchange information, successes and resources to help meet the increased needs of this time. This week’s meeting focused on reopening, planning and surveying schools’ reopening needs.

Individual schools and teachers have received support for technology in education, best practices and content.

ATT will be providing several professional development courses over the remainder of the summer break to help teachers gain confidence and insight into the new realities of our students’ learning needs.

ATT is proud of its partnership with its affiliated schools and its role in assuring that our schools continue to thrive and grow so that your child will experience the best education that we can provide.

Since the closure of our schools, ATT’s Department of Government Programs has been busy advocating for ATT schools in order to secure funding through the Federal CARES Act: Elementary and Secondary School Emergency Relief Fund (ESSERF).

Last week Chicago Public Schools (CPS) announced that close to $1.5 million in allocations was awarded to nonpublic Jewish schools in the CPS district.

These funds are to be spent in the following ways:

• Supplies/services for sanitation – including PPE and safety equipment
• Technology – computers, phones, IT work for remote learning, etc.
• Any activity authorized in ESSA (i.e. extending the regular Titles IIA, III, IV allocations that schools receive) or IDEA (includes low-income children or students, English learners, children with disabilities, adult education and family literacy)
• Mental health service –counseling, therapy, trauma, behavioral counseling
• Planning for and coordinating long-term closures
• Expenses for managing COVID-19 (training, professional development, and oversight)
• Summer/extended learning opportunities

Spending of CARES funding must be secular, neutral, reasonable and necessary. CARES funding cannot be used to reimburse nonpublic schools. The spending of this CARES funding continues through September 2021.

ATT will help schools with the procedural details for this spending.

Thanks to the generosity of the Chicago Jewish community, supporters of REACH raised an unprecedented amount of money in only 30 hours on a Charidy campaign. During an economic recession and the COVID-19 epidemic, when our communities are unable to gather for the previously scheduled events and celebrations, we at the ATT are humbled and grateful for the generosity of the community that we serve.

REACH is Chicago’s coordinated effort to build Jewish day schools’ capacity to support students with a wide range of needs in an inclusive way. Our vision is to ensure that all Jewish students can attend the Jewish day school of their choice.

Over the past few months of remote learning, REACH has proved even more crucial for students benefiting from REACH support, ensuring these students continue learning during this challenging time.

Thank you to the families who laid the foundation for the REACH program to grow and have such an impact on our day school community: 

• Oscar A. & Bernice Novick
• Crain Maling foundation
• The Walder foundation
• Rabbi Morris and Delicia Esformes
• Mr. Eric and Gayle Rothner
• Robert and Debra Hartman
• Robinson Family Foundation
• Along with the parent body that spearheaded the growth of REACH led by the Broner and Sheinfeld families. 

We are grateful for their belief that we can #REACH4more for all of our day school students. Without their support, we would not have had the confidence to run this first-ever online fundraiser for the ATT in the middle of this challenging fundraising climate.

One of the most exciting parts of running this online campaign was hearing the stories that came in from our teachers, parents and partner schools.

Following are a few of the stories we heard during our fundraiser. These are only some of the stories of how REACH help students succeed in school every single year. 

“REACH performs miracles! Students who would otherwise be totally lost in the classroom and not gain much from regular instruction are given the tools to enable them to achieve. REACH empowers students, building them up and scaffolding them to succeed.” ^JDBY teacher

“The REACH teachers have been wonderful during COVID.” ^ACHDS parent Ilissa Shenker

“Vanessa Cantz [REACH teacher] is incredible. She goes above and beyond. She adapts her lessons to fit each child and have each child thrive in the classroom. She uses different techniques that engage the children and bring out academic success and potential.” ^YTT parent

“They support the teachers and cooperate with everyone to bring out the potential in the child. They invest in the children and partner with parents and act as a liaison as between teachers and parents. This has been a huge ingredient for the success of my child. REACH filled a huge void. The caliber of staff and curriculum keep on improving along with REACH’s relationship with the schools.” ^JDBY parent

“When my daughter started REACH she was barely able to read. Her skills in Judaic and English subjects were very weak. Because of the belief of Shoshana Grossman [REACH teacher] and the REACH staff in JDBY, my child has grown every year. My daughter has been able to spend more time in the classroom while continuing to enjoy her relationship with REACH teachers.” ^JDBY parent of a 4th grader

“Our son attended public school from nursery through 3^rd grade. Before entering 4^th grade we made the decision to enroll him in the REACH program at ACHDS and have been thrilled with the results. With the extra attention and resources devoted to his development, our soon to be 7^th grader (!) has continued to make progress in his general studies classes, has fully caught up in Hebrew kriyah, loves leading davening and learning with his rabbeim. Most importantly, he now fully feels part of the family.” ^ACHDS parents

“As a fourth-grade teacher and working with REACH on a daily basis, I’ve seen the tremendous benefits of their services both with my students receiving REACH support and how they have enriched my classroom. Taking the load off of the teacher, who has a responsibility to ensure each individual student reaches her academic capacity during the year, REACH ensures that their students’ needs are met, all within the framework of the classroom.” ^JDBY teacher Brooke Dordek

“REACH has played an important role in our son’s life since he was in 1st grade. He’s developed relationships with many of his teachers, and they’ve been an important source of support and help for us through the years. They’ve helped him gain many skills and build on his many strengths. We thank reach deeply for the effort, energy, and time they’ve devoted to our son and the many other students that they serve. We’re so very grateful! ^ YTT parents Rabbi Josh and Laura Marder

“Our son has been a part of REACH for several years now. REACH has the most amazing educators. They are attentive and supportive, and it is so crucial to have a liaison at the school when the need arises. They all go above and beyond the call is duty. It is a service that fills an irreplaceable need in the schools.”

YTT parents Micha and Amy Rose

“My daughter is now happy to attend school.” ^ACHDS parent Jodi Miller

“The help of the REACH teachers during COVID- 19 has been fantastic. My daughter made progress even during the crisis. This is what REACH is about, not just doing but going above and beyond the call of duty.” ^ACHDS parent Zehava Allen

“We have been part of REACH from its inception. The REACH teachers don’t only teach classroom skills or academic skills they teach lifelong skills. The teachers are animated, and so open and honest with my son that it creates a better bond. Because of that, he tries harder so that his REACH teachers get nachas from him.” ^Elie and Shifra Schreiber

“It is with tears in my eyes that I look back at my son’s growth at YTT over the past five years. Mrs. Cantz [REACH teacher] and Rabbi Chapman [REACH teacher] have gone above and beyond the call of duty to ensure that he keeps up with his peers, academically and socially, while helping him acquire the skills he needs for reading and writing in both Hebrew and English. 

REACH is fortunate to have such wonderful employees, and we are fortunate to have the REACH team behind our son.” ^YTT parent

“We love REACH. They do so much for my child. During Covid-19 they were fabulous with Zoom. They really love our daughter.” ^ACHDS parent Naomi Lopin

“Without REACH, I would not have been able to do homeschooling. They modified the material to fit my child’s needs. They made special worksheets for her. Shoshana Perlmutter [REACH teacher] calls every day to work with her. This was fantastic. Mrs. Jeramias [REACH teacher] did a reward program and sent out prizes.“ ^JDBY parent, E.K.

There is so much uncertainty in the world right now and in education. But as we enter our tenth year of serving the Chicago Jewish day school community, one thing is clear. REACH has the drive and dedication to continue doing the important work of ensuring that every Jewish child has the opportunity and tools they need to succeed in the day school of their choice. When one child in our community is empowered, our whole community is lifted up.

Learn more about REACH here.

As this unexpected last quarter of the 2019-2020 school year winds down, students and their parents reflect on students’ overall success working with REACH teachers this year.

REACH is helping to minimize stigma and helps students succeed in academics

One year ago, day school student Sarah* finished first grade still struggling with reading. Her school offered her parents the option of having Sarah repeat first grade or begin second grade with support from REACH. 

Sarah’s parents wavered because they recalled support services from their own childhood. To explore the options, they met with Rusi Sukenik, REACH director of student services. Mrs. Sukenik clarified that the services REACH would provide their daughter would address her academic needs and be delivered in a way that coordinated with the teachers so that it would integrate with her school day. Although some of the support can help with executive function and behavior, REACH’s primary function is to support educational challenges.

Sarah’s mother is now thrilled that her daughter receives support through REACH and says, “There is no way she would thrive in her classroom without the supplemental support.” With remote learning specifically, REACH educators are able to give the students one-on-one support to help them stay on track. 

For some students, staying motivated in school, in general, is a challenge, with remote learning, the challenge is that much greater. REACH educators have been busy developing creative ways to continue supporting students. For Sarah, Mrs. Sukenik called often to try different ways to help modify the program for her to find the most effective learning method that works. REACH teachers and programs are flexible and committed to working together with staff and with families to find a solution that works for each specific child. Although times are tough, having the support of REACH makes it more manageable.

REACH teachers instill confidence in students 

Eli*, who is in third grade, has worked with REACH teachers for two years. Eli’s parents appreciate the REACH support, especially in light of how some of their older children struggled in school. They realize how much their older children would have benefited from the REACH program. REACH gives students the opportunity to feel confident and accepted rather than lonely and isolated. “REACH fills in gaps and forms bridges our son needs to thrive in school,” says Eli’s mom. 

Classroom support and communication between the day school teacher and REACH educator has made a big impact on Eli’s success in school. “Receiving individualized instruction every day is remarkable. This year, the coordination between REACH and the classroom teacher has made Eli truly feel like part of the class.”  

During remote learning, the consistent visual component his REACH educator provides has kept him from falling behind. Not only that, but he is making strides and progressing in his studies. “We don’t know what we would do without REACH. The consistency REACH has provided during remote learning has been tremendously helpful.”

For many students, REACH gives the confidence that will stay with students long after they graduate. Without REACH, Eli “would be getting virtually no academics right now…he is getting 10 percent of the material and feels stupid noticing the discrepancy between him and his peers. If not for REACH, it would be a waste of the end of the school year.”

Teachers are learning from remote learning

As the school year ends in such an unexpected way, REACH teachers have seenthe positive aspects of working with their students remotely. REACH staff will be analyzing their successes and challenges and thinking about ways to apply this knowledge when we return to regular school. Estie Siegal, a REACH teacher based at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School (ACHDS), finds that some of her students are thriving now because the classes are recorded, so the students can pause to take notes and then continue listening. They can always go back if they missed something, which is very helpful for some learners. Estie is eager to find ways to apply this knowledge to the classroom.  

Some educators have noticed that students are performing better without the social social pressure and pressure. Shoshana Perlmuter, who works at both Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov (JDBY) and ACHDS, has found that some of her students are actually more engaged and focused on their work now.

When motivation is running low, Aviva Lopin with Yeshivas Tiferes Tzvi (YTT) has seen the difference having a personal connection with students can make. Now that she can’t meet in person with students, Mrs. Lopin tries to drop off notes and even small rewards to celebrate students’ achievements. “After the student met one of his goals, I dropped off a prize at his house with gloves and a mask. He was so excited and taken by surprise, and his feeling of accomplishment motivated him for future lessons.”

There are many lessons to be learned from education during a pandemic, REACH teachers are using this experience as a springboard to continue striving to help their students succeed in the best ways possible. 

*Name changed for anonymity

Learning virtually presents new challenges for students at all learning levels, but for students with learning disabilities or other challenges to learning, the struggle is even greater. Virtual school during COVID-19 means that many students are struggling to stay motivated and focused while learning at home, with technology glitches and endless distractions.

REACH (Resources for Educational Achievement Collaboration and Health) educators are working remotely on a regular basis with students with learning challenges. The REACH instructors use a variety of specialized methods to ensure that students of varying ability levels are able to learn the material. They work hand-in-hand with classroom teachers to modify assignments, add a visual component to the learning, break down the content and reinforce skills. Together, these educators work with students on achieving individualized goals and tailor the instruction for them.

REACH teachers are optimizing remote learning for each student they support

1. Modifying assignments from each student’s classroom teachers
2. Adding visual components to the lesson, this is especially helpful in those classes that are taking place exclusively on audio
3. Breaking down the content into smaller sections to allow for mastery
4. Reviewing and reinforcing new skills that are taught in remote lessons
5. Individualizing goals, specifically tailored to each student

REACH teacher Aviva Lopin works with primarily fourth and fifth-grade students at Yeshiva Tiferes Tzvi (YTT). Aviva listens to her students’ recorded audio classes, and then she reviews and co-teaches the material to her students in a real-time virtual conversation. 

Parents are key partners in remote learning. “I’m blessed with the best, most supportive parents who help the students stay focused by helping them get prepared for the lesson with any materials they need, and with their flexibility,” said Aviva. 

Estie Siegal is a REACH teacher who supports students in grades K-8 at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School (ACHDS). She has daily Zoom sessions with each of her students. During her experience with remote learning, Estie has noticed that her students are actually benefiting from one-on-one attention without the normal classroom interruptions. She has seen tremendous growth in her students and feels that, despite these unforeseen challenges, they are thriving.

Throughout this time of remote learning, Estie acknowledges her students are working extremely hard. “I focus on their strengths to build them up. They are most receptive when starting with their strong points and individual interests whenever it is possible.”

Shoshana Perlmuter is a REACH teacher who works with students grades 1-8 at both Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov (JDBY) and ACHDS either through Zoom or over the phone. She focuses on maintaining  routines  with the students that she teaches in her  reading groups Shoshana reports that students are sometimes less distracted when learning by phone.  

She has been customizing the packets distributed by JDBY teachers and modifying the material for the students based on their individual needs. Shoshana tries to enhance the lessons to make them interactive and more engaging with computer activities. “Making the lessons more dynamic and interactive on the screen makes it more appealing, and I try to make it as engaging as possible.” 

A parent of one of Shoshana’s students says, “My daughter looks forward to her Zoom with Miss Perlmutter. That means the teacher is doing a good job engaging her and she’s really gaining from it.”

Like students, REACH educators needed to adapt quickly in the methodology they employ to assist students effectively through remote learning. 

Special education is good education. REACH teachers recommend setting all children up for successful remote learning by applying the following principles:

Be understanding. Aviva says the key to successful remote learning starts with being understanding. “The kids are going through this challenge just as much as the adults are. Give a lot of praise for anything positive they are doing.” Estie has found that validating students and empathizing about how hard the situation is has helped students connect to the learning. 

Provide technical support. It’s crucial to support the technology challenges. “When they make a call or Zoom, parents should help them set up the technology so that the students will be less likely to get frustrated and discouraged when it takes extra time,” says Aviva.

Designate a place that is conducive for learning. Try to have a special chair or spot to do work with all their necessary supplies. Some of our parents have even decorated the area to make it extra special. 

Keep lessons short. Shorter lessons, especially for those that are prerecorded, help students stay focused and engaged, especially if some fun is sprinkled into the lessons. Estie uses timers to start and stop a lesson, because when they know an end is coming it’s easier for them to work up to that point.

Make lessons fun. Estie has noticed that challenging students to see if they can do an activity is often more effective than forcing them to do it. She uses Zoom’s whiteboard for teaching and the app Quizlet to reinforce lessons in an interactive way.

Be flexible. Shoshana’s best advice to teachers and parents? “Try your best to be as flexible as possible. Let the students know that even if they don’t understand every little thing, they shouldn’t be so hard on themselves especially during this difficult time.”

Even though they are still socially distanced, these educators are making sure that learning is still within their students’ REACH. 

National expert in Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) Jordan Spikes from Think:Kids along with REACH’s CPS expert Tamar Shames answered questions from community members on May 18 on Facebook Live and Zoom. Together they offering support and ideas for helping kids and families cope during this challenging time, based on this research-based behavior method that they use to train teachers. Spikes is a consultant with ATT teachers, training them to use CPS in the classroom, but the method can also support parents in their efforts to build up kids’ intrinsic motivation to make positive choices and solve problems.

Below are some of the questions and answers they covered

Q: How do you approach homeschooling?

Jordan Spikes: There are a lot of reasons you don’t have the ability to set everything aside and be a teacher with your student. It is important to remember that you are not working from home and your kids are homeschooling. You are surviving a crisis while attempting to also work from home and homeschool your children.

Tamar Shames: We need to have lower expectations of ourselves and manage self-care at this time. It is important to collaborate with the kids. If a child is struggling or not doing well, it’s not that they are trying to get out of something. We have to think about what is getting in the way. What skills are being required that they aren’t normally having to do?

Q: How to deal with kids losing motivation:

Jordan Spikes: For some kids the block might be that being on Zoom reminds them they miss their friends. Understand it’s okay if they’re overwhelmed. But if it’s a pattern, check in to see what’s going on here from an inquisitive perspective.

Tamar Shames: If kids are displaying behaviors you’ve never seen before or in a frequency you’ve never seen, it’s important to recognize that it’s coming from a place where they now have different expectations and are in a different setting. You have to stretch your empathy muscle.

Jordan Spikes: We’re not excusing our students for not engaging or doing their work. We’re explaining why it’s happening. As adults, If we’re stressed, we take something off our plate at home or work. That’s what we do with kids who are struggling. What if we reduce behavior or stress to see if they are more equipped to face other things?

Communication is key right now:

Tamar Shames: Communication with your children. Usually when our children face something in their lives, we’ve been through it before. But this is an exception that we are experiencing along with our children. So as much as we try to be reassuring, it’s still something unknown so everyone feels collectively. If your family is struggling, having a conversation with a friend or family can help you through this. It’s hard to know what feels normal during this time. 

Jordan Spikes: I wonder if we are putting on really calm faces all the time, they may feel like they have to be okay with this? Hearing that everyone feels their struggles helps our kids who are feeling the same way. This is tough. It is not your job right now to solve the problem. Just be there for them. Try to understand things from their perspective. Just listening helps regulate the human brain. It literally settles the brain down a little bit and can help. This doesn’t have to be a verbal conversation, it can be a note or text because face to face can create urgency. 

Tamar Shames: Sometimes going for a walk or a rhythmic activity can help them regulate themselves and be calm. Nowhere in the history of telling someone to calm down, do they calm down. Don’t try to talk it in the moment of meltdown but it is always best to wait for a moment when they feel calm. You can make it a game. Can I ask you 20 questions to try to get to the bottom of it? I know this is a tough conversation and low bar, no pressure, but when you’re feeling up to it, I want you to know that I want to help you. Be persistent not pushy. 

Jordan Spikes: Once they see we are curious and not that we are trying to change their behavior, that can help them.

How do you know what’s normal behavior versus what’s a real problem?

As a parent, you are wearing so many hats and responsibilities right now. If I believe it’s them naturally pushing boundaries, what would my response be? So then, do your usual consequence. Then, what’s the result? Did that work? If not, maybe they’re overwhelmed

Q: For example not wearing pjs:

Jordan Spikes: What is the expectation which makes wearing sweatpants a problem? What is it that you want them to be doing and why? Maybe it’s a comfort. What’s your concern? Here’s mine. What’s a way we can combine those two?

Q: How do we help kids keep up their motivation? 

Tamar Shames: People are getting tired. 

Jordan Spikes: This is much more complex than we give it credit for. There are a lot of things I’m expected to do, but I do them anyway. Differentiating, extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Relatedness and autonomy are two things a lot of us are missing out on. We are looking for opportunities to control what I can control. So it might be that I’m not going to do my work today. That doesn’t excuse it, but it explains it. So maybe look for ways you can give them control over something. 

Whatever you’re doing right now, know that it’s enough.

Tamar Shames: We are also struggling with competency, as we have had to take on jobs we never wanted to do. Autonomy, our choices are being taken from us as well. How to create a sense of choice for our lives. If you’re feeling less motivated, there’s a good reason for that. And however we can still feel connected to people around us in a safe way.

Jordan Spikes: Genuinely ask what’s wrong. I’ve noticed a real difference now. Can I ask what’s going on to try to work toward a different solution?

You are doing the best you can and your kids are doing the best they can. And teachers are doing the best they can. No one asked for this. Give yourself the grace to sometimes feel things are not okay and that’s okay.

Tamar Shames: Our job as parents is to do our best to create a safe home environment.