Category: News Archive

ATT supporters raise $425,057 for REACH

Thanks to the generosity of the Chicago Jewish community, supporters of REACH raised an unprecedented amount of money in only 30 hours on a Charidy campaign. During an economic recession and the COVID-19 epidemic, when our communities are unable to gather for the previously scheduled events and celebrations, we at the ATT are humbled and grateful for the generosity of the community that we serve.

REACH is Chicago’s coordinated effort to build Jewish day schools’ capacity to support students with a wide range of needs in an inclusive way. Our vision is to ensure that all Jewish students can attend the Jewish day school of their choice.

Over the past few months of remote learning, REACH has proved even more crucial for students benefiting from REACH support, ensuring these students continue learning during this challenging time.

Thank you to the families who laid the foundation for the REACH program to grow and have such an impact on our day school community: 

  • Oscar A. & Bernice Novick
  • Crain Maling foundation
  • The Walder foundation
  • Rabbi Morris and Delicia Esformes
  • Mr. Eric and Gayle Rothner
  • Robert and Debra Hartman
  • Robinson Family Foundation
  • Along with the parent body that spearheaded the growth of REACH led by the Broner and Sheinfeld families. 

We are grateful for their belief that we can #REACH4more for all of our day school students. Without their support, we would not have had the confidence to run this first-ever online fundraiser for the ATT in the middle of this challenging fundraising climate.

One of the most exciting parts of running this online campaign was hearing the stories that came in from our teachers, parents and partner schools.

Following are a few of the stories we heard during our fundraiser. These are only some of the stories of how REACH help students succeed in school every single year. 

“REACH performs miracles! Students who would otherwise be totally lost in the classroom and not gain much from regular instruction are given the tools to enable them to achieve. REACH empowers students, building them up and scaffolding them to succeed.” ^JDBY teacher

“The REACH teachers have been wonderful during COVID.” ^ACHDS parent Ilissa Shenker

“Vanessa Cantz [REACH teacher] is incredible. She goes above and beyond. She adapts her lessons to fit each child and have each child thrive in the classroom. She uses different techniques that engage the children and bring out academic success and potential.” ^YTT parent

“They support the teachers and cooperate with everyone to bring out the potential in the child. They invest in the children and partner with parents and act as a liaison as between teachers and parents. This has been a huge ingredient for the success of my child. REACH filled a huge void. The caliber of staff and curriculum keep on improving along with REACH’s relationship with the schools.” ^JDBY parent

“When my daughter started REACH she was barely able to read. Her skills in Judaic and English subjects were very weak. Because of the belief of Shoshana Grossman [REACH teacher] and the REACH staff in JDBY, my child has grown every year. My daughter has been able to spend more time in the classroom while continuing to enjoy her relationship with REACH teachers.” ^JDBY parent of a 4th grader

“Our son attended public school from nursery through 3rd grade. Before entering 4th grade we made the decision to enroll him in the REACH program at ACHDS and have been thrilled with the results. With the extra attention and resources devoted to his development, our soon to be 7th grader (!) has continued to make progress in his general studies classes, has fully caught up in Hebrew kriyah, loves leading davening and learning with his rabbeim. Most importantly, he now fully feels part of the family.” ^ACHDS parents

“As a fourth-grade teacher and working with REACH on a daily basis, I’ve seen the tremendous benefits of their services both with my students receiving REACH support and how they have enriched my classroom. Taking the load off of the teacher, who has a responsibility to ensure each individual student reaches her academic capacity during the year, REACH ensures that their students’ needs are met, all within the framework of the classroom.” ^JDBY teacher Brooke Dordek

“REACH has played an important role in our son’s life since he was in 1st grade. He’s developed relationships with many of his teachers, and they’ve been an important source of support and help for us through the years. They’ve helped him gain many skills and build on his many strengths. We thank reach deeply for the effort, energy, and time they’ve devoted to our son and the many other students that they serve. We’re so very grateful! ^ YTT parents Rabbi Josh and Laura Marder

“Our son has been a part of REACH for several years now. REACH has the most amazing educators. They are attentive and supportive, and it is so crucial to have a liaison at the school when the need arises. They all go above and beyond the call is duty. It is a service that fills an irreplaceable need in the schools.”

YTT parents Micha and Amy Rose

“My daughter is now happy to attend school.” ^ACHDS parent Jodi Miller

“The help of the REACH teachers during COVID- 19 has been fantastic. My daughter made progress even during the crisis. This is what REACH is about, not just doing but going above and beyond the call of duty.” ^ACHDS parent Zehava Allen

“We have been part of REACH from its inception. The REACH teachers don’t only teach classroom skills or academic skills they teach lifelong skills. The teachers are animated, and so open and honest with my son that it creates a better bond. Because of that, he tries harder so that his REACH teachers get nachas from him.” ^Elie and Shifra Schreiber

“It is with tears in my eyes that I look back at my son’s growth at YTT over the past five years. Mrs. Cantz [REACH teacher] and Rabbi Chapman [REACH teacher] have gone above and beyond the call of duty to ensure that he keeps up with his peers, academically and socially, while helping him acquire the skills he needs for reading and writing in both Hebrew and English. 

REACH is fortunate to have such wonderful employees, and we are fortunate to have the REACH team behind our son.” ^YTT parent

“We love REACH. They do so much for my child. During Covid-19 they were fabulous with Zoom. They really love our daughter.” ^ACHDS parent Naomi Lopin

“Without REACH, I would not have been able to do homeschooling. They modified the material to fit my child’s needs. They made special worksheets for her. Shoshana Perlmutter [REACH teacher] calls every day to work with her. This was fantastic. Mrs. Jeramias [REACH teacher] did a reward program and sent out prizes.“ ^JDBY parent, E.K.

There is so much uncertainty in the world right now and in education. But as we enter our tenth year of serving the Chicago Jewish day school community, one thing is clear. REACH has the drive and dedication to continue doing the important work of ensuring that every Jewish child has the opportunity and tools they need to succeed in the day school of their choice. When one child in our community is empowered, our whole community is lifted up.

Learn more about REACH here.

Finishing an unusual school year and staying on track with REACH

As this unexpected last quarter of the 2019-2020 school year winds down, students and their parents reflect on students’ overall success working with REACH teachers this year.

REACH is helping to minimize stigma and helps students succeed in academics

One year ago, day school student Sarah* finished first grade still struggling with reading. Her school offered her parents the option of having Sarah repeat first grade or begin second grade with support from REACH. 

Sarah’s parents wavered because they recalled support services from their own childhood. To explore the options, they met with Rusi Sukenik, REACH director of student services. Mrs. Sukenik clarified that the services REACH would provide their daughter would address her academic needs and be delivered in a way that coordinated with the teachers so that it would integrate with her school day. Although some of the support can help with executive function and behavior, REACH’s primary function is to support educational challenges.

Sarah’s mother is now thrilled that her daughter receives support through REACH and says, “There is no way she would thrive in her classroom without the supplemental support.” With remote learning specifically, REACH educators are able to give the students one-on-one support to help them stay on track. 

For some students, staying motivated in school, in general, is a challenge, with remote learning, the challenge is that much greater. REACH educators have been busy developing creative ways to continue supporting students. For Sarah, Mrs. Sukenik called often to try different ways to help modify the program for her to find the most effective learning method that works. REACH teachers and programs are flexible and committed to working together with staff and with families to find a solution that works for each specific child. Although times are tough, having the support of REACH makes it more manageable.

REACH teachers instill confidence in students 

Eli*, who is in third grade, has worked with REACH teachers for two years. Eli’s parents appreciate the REACH support, especially in light of how some of their older children struggled in school. They realize how much their older children would have benefited from the REACH program. REACH gives students the opportunity to feel confident and accepted rather than lonely and isolated. “REACH fills in gaps and forms bridges our son needs to thrive in school,” says Eli’s mom. 

Classroom support and communication between the day school teacher and REACH educator has made a big impact on Eli’s success in school. “Receiving individualized instruction every day is remarkable. This year, the coordination between REACH and the classroom teacher has made Eli truly feel like part of the class.”  

During remote learning, the consistent visual component his REACH educator provides has kept him from falling behind. Not only that, but he is making strides and progressing in his studies. “We don’t know what we would do without REACH. The consistency REACH has provided during remote learning has been tremendously helpful.”

For many students, REACH gives the confidence that will stay with students long after they graduate. Without REACH, Eli “would be getting virtually no academics right now…he is getting 10 percent of the material and feels stupid noticing the discrepancy between him and his peers. If not for REACH, it would be a waste of the end of the school year.”

Teachers are learning from remote learning

As the school year ends in such an unexpected way, REACH teachers have seenthe positive aspects of working with their students remotely. REACH staff will be analyzing their successes and challenges and thinking about ways to apply this knowledge when we return to regular school. Estie Siegal, a REACH teacher based at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School (ACHDS), finds that some of her students are thriving now because the classes are recorded, so the students can pause to take notes and then continue listening. They can always go back if they missed something, which is very helpful for some learners. Estie is eager to find ways to apply this knowledge to the classroom.  

Some educators have noticed that students are performing better without the social social pressure and pressure. Shoshana Perlmuter, who works at both Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov (JDBY) and ACHDS, has found that some of her students are actually more engaged and focused on their work now.

When motivation is running low, Aviva Lopin with Yeshivas Tiferes Tzvi (YTT) has seen the difference having a personal connection with students can make. Now that she can’t meet in person with students, Mrs. Lopin tries to drop off notes and even small rewards to celebrate students’ achievements. “After the student met one of his goals, I dropped off a prize at his house with gloves and a mask. He was so excited and taken by surprise, and his feeling of accomplishment motivated him for future lessons.”

There are many lessons to be learned from education during a pandemic, REACH teachers are using this experience as a springboard to continue striving to help their students succeed in the best ways possible. 

*Name changed for anonymity

A Taste Of Torah – Parshas Nasso

Written by: Rabbi Avrohom S. Moller

Parshas Nasso begins with a census of the three branches of the tribe of Levi. This count focuses on those who are of age to serve in the transport of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) as the Jewish people made their way through the desert. When the passuk reaches the count of the third family of Levi, M’rori, it states, “You shall name them as they are charged with their task of carrying.” The Ramban notes that this command to name the members of the family does not appear when the Torah speaks of Gershon and Kehos, the other two families. He suggests that since M’rori were responsible to carry the heaviest components of the Mishkan, they had to be singled out and named specifically to assure that they didn’t avoid the task. (Their job was to transport the wall boards which weighed about 900 lb. each and were about 30 feet long.)

Rabbi Shimon Schwab (Rav in Baltimore and Washington Heights, NY 1908-1995) suggests another explanation. The Leviim’s task of carrying the Mishkan was a symbol of the work which is required of our public servants. Some provide spiritual needs and others provide material support. The boards of the Mishkan represent the structure that held and sheltered the hallowed vessels. M’rori, therefore, represents the laity that sustains the community’s spiritual activities with their material support. They needed a special “shout-out” to highlight that they are a critical part of the communal infrastructure.

Rav Schwab notes that when Moshe Rabbeinu blessed the tribes of Yissachor and Zevulun, he praises  Zevulun first as he is the merchant that travels the seas to provide for the upkeep of the scholars in the tribe of Yissachor who “sit in the tent.” Without the sacrifice and devotion of the supporters of Torah, Torah cannot exist.

We are living in a time that the laity is as important as ever. Our institutions of learning and spirit have had to pivot and offer their services in a different way and the rapid change has bewildered many of us. Behind this array of services are selfless lay people and school leaders who work tirelessly to support the institutions both materially and with hard work to assure that we emerge from this situation better, wiser and stronger. 

REACH support during distance learning

Learning virtually presents new challenges for students at all learning levels, but for students with learning disabilities or other challenges to learning, the struggle is even greater. Virtual school during COVID-19 means that many students are struggling to stay motivated and focused while learning at home, with technology glitches and endless distractions.

REACH (Resources for Educational Achievement Collaboration and Health) educators are working remotely on a regular basis with students with learning challenges. The REACH instructors use a variety of specialized methods to ensure that students of varying ability levels are able to learn the material. They work hand-in-hand with classroom teachers to modify assignments, add a visual component to the learning, break down the content and reinforce skills. Together, these educators work with students on achieving individualized goals and tailor the instruction for them.

REACH teachers are optimizing remote learning for each student they support

  1. Modifying assignments from each student’s classroom teachers
  2. Adding visual components to the lesson, this is especially helpful in those classes that are taking place exclusively on audio
  3. Breaking down the content into smaller sections to allow for mastery
  4. Reviewing and reinforcing new skills that are taught in remote lessons
  5. Individualizing goals, specifically tailored to each student

REACH teacher Aviva Lopin works with primarily fourth and fifth-grade students at Yeshiva Tiferes Tzvi (YTT). Aviva listens to her students’ recorded audio classes, and then she reviews and co-teaches the material to her students in a real-time virtual conversation. 

Parents are key partners in remote learning. “I’m blessed with the best, most supportive parents who help the students stay focused by helping them get prepared for the lesson with any materials they need, and with their flexibility,” said Aviva. 

Estie Siegal is a REACH teacher who supports students in grades K-8 at Arie Crown Hebrew Day School (ACHDS). She has daily Zoom sessions with each of her students. During her experience with remote learning, Estie has noticed that her students are actually benefiting from one-on-one attention without the normal classroom interruptions. She has seen tremendous growth in her students and feels that, despite these unforeseen challenges, they are thriving.

Throughout this time of remote learning, Estie acknowledges her students are working extremely hard. “I focus on their strengths to build them up. They are most receptive when starting with their strong points and individual interests whenever it is possible.”

Shoshana Perlmuter is a REACH teacher who works with students grades 1-8 at both Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov (JDBY) and ACHDS either through Zoom or over the phone. She focuses on maintaining  routines  with the students that she teaches in her  reading groups Shoshana reports that students are sometimes less distracted when learning by phone.  

She has been customizing the packets distributed by JDBY teachers and modifying the material for the students based on their individual needs. Shoshana tries to enhance the lessons to make them interactive and more engaging with computer activities. “Making the lessons more dynamic and interactive on the screen makes it more appealing, and I try to make it as engaging as possible.” 

A parent of one of Shoshana’s students says, “My daughter looks forward to her Zoom with Miss Perlmutter. That means the teacher is doing a good job engaging her and she’s really gaining from it.”

Like students, REACH educators needed to adapt quickly in the methodology they employ to assist students effectively through remote learning. 

Special education is good education. REACH teachers recommend setting all children up for successful remote learning by applying the following principles:

Be understanding. Aviva says the key to successful remote learning starts with being understanding. “The kids are going through this challenge just as much as the adults are. Give a lot of praise for anything positive they are doing.” Estie has found that validating students and empathizing about how hard the situation is has helped students connect to the learning. 

Provide technical support. It’s crucial to support the technology challenges. “When they make a call or Zoom, parents should help them set up the technology so that the students will be less likely to get frustrated and discouraged when it takes extra time,” says Aviva.

Designate a place that is conducive for learning. Try to have a special chair or spot to do work with all their necessary supplies. Some of our parents have even decorated the area to make it extra special. 

Keep lessons short. Shorter lessons, especially for those that are prerecorded, help students stay focused and engaged, especially if some fun is sprinkled into the lessons. Estie uses timers to start and stop a lesson, because when they know an end is coming it’s easier for them to work up to that point.

Make lessons fun. Estie has noticed that challenging students to see if they can do an activity is often more effective than forcing them to do it. She uses Zoom’s whiteboard for teaching and the app Quizlet to reinforce lessons in an interactive way.

Be flexible. Shoshana’s best advice to teachers and parents? “Try your best to be as flexible as possible. Let the students know that even if they don’t understand every little thing, they shouldn’t be so hard on themselves especially during this difficult time.”

Even though they are still socially distanced, these educators are making sure that learning is still within their students’ REACH. 

Parenting Support During COVID-19

National expert in Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) Jordan Spikes from Think:Kids along with REACH’s CPS expert Tamar Shames answered questions from community members on May 18 on Facebook Live and Zoom. Together they offering support and ideas for helping kids and families cope during this challenging time, based on this research-based behavior method that they use to train teachers. Spikes is a consultant with ATT teachers, training them to use CPS in the classroom, but the method can also support parents in their efforts to build up kids’ intrinsic motivation to make positive choices and solve problems.

Jordan Spikes from Think:Kids

Below are some of the questions and answers they covered

Q: How do you approach homeschooling?

Jordan Spikes: There are a lot of reasons you don’t have the ability to set everything aside and be a teacher with your student. It is important to remember that you are not working from home and your kids are homeschooling. You are surviving a crisis while attempting to also work from home and homeschool your children.

Tamar Shames: We need to have lower expectations of ourselves and manage self-care at this time. It is important to collaborate with the kids. If a child is struggling or not doing well, it’s not that they are trying to get out of something. We have to think about what is getting in the way. What skills are being required that they aren’t normally having to do?

Q: How to deal with kids losing motivation:

Jordan Spikes: For some kids the block might be that being on Zoom reminds them they miss their friends. Understand it’s okay if they’re overwhelmed. But if it’s a pattern, check in to see what’s going on here from an inquisitive perspective.

Tamar Shames: If kids are displaying behaviors you’ve never seen before or in a frequency you’ve never seen, it’s important to recognize that it’s coming from a place where they now have different expectations and are in a different setting. You have to stretch your empathy muscle.

Jordan Spikes: We’re not excusing our students for not engaging or doing their work. We’re explaining why it’s happening. As adults, If we’re stressed, we take something off our plate at home or work. That’s what we do with kids who are struggling. What if we reduce behavior or stress to see if they are more equipped to face other things?

Communication is key right now:

Tamar Shames: Communication with your children. Usually when our children face something in their lives, we’ve been through it before. But this is an exception that we are experiencing along with our children. So as much as we try to be reassuring, it’s still something unknown so everyone feels collectively. If your family is struggling, having a conversation with a friend or family can help you through this. It’s hard to know what feels normal during this time. 

Jordan Spikes: I wonder if we are putting on really calm faces all the time, they may feel like they have to be okay with this? Hearing that everyone feels their struggles helps our kids who are feeling the same way. This is tough. It is not your job right now to solve the problem. Just be there for them. Try to understand things from their perspective. Just listening helps regulate the human brain. It literally settles the brain down a little bit and can help. This doesn’t have to be a verbal conversation, it can be a note or text because face to face can create urgency. 

Tamar Shames: Sometimes going for a walk or a rhythmic activity can help them regulate themselves and be calm. Nowhere in the history of telling someone to calm down, do they calm down. Don’t try to talk it in the moment of meltdown but it is always best to wait for a moment when they feel calm. You can make it a game. Can I ask you 20 questions to try to get to the bottom of it? I know this is a tough conversation and low bar, no pressure, but when you’re feeling up to it, I want you to know that I want to help you. Be persistent not pushy. 

Jordan Spikes: Once they see we are curious and not that we are trying to change their behavior, that can help them.

How do you know what’s normal behavior versus what’s a real problem?

As a parent, you are wearing so many hats and responsibilities right now. If I believe it’s them naturally pushing boundaries, what would my response be? So then, do your usual consequence. Then, what’s the result? Did that work? If not, maybe they’re overwhelmed

Q: For example not wearing pjs:

Jordan Spikes: What is the expectation which makes wearing sweatpants a problem? What is it that you want them to be doing and why? Maybe it’s a comfort. What’s your concern? Here’s mine. What’s a way we can combine those two?

Q: How do we help kids keep up their motivation? 

Tamar Shames: People are getting tired. 

Jordan Spikes: This is much more complex than we give it credit for. There are a lot of things I’m expected to do, but I do them anyway. Differentiating, extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Relatedness and autonomy are two things a lot of us are missing out on. We are looking for opportunities to control what I can control. So it might be that I’m not going to do my work today. That doesn’t excuse it, but it explains it. So maybe look for ways you can give them control over something. 

Whatever you’re doing right now, know that it’s enough.

Tamar Shames: We are also struggling with competency, as we have had to take on jobs we never wanted to do. Autonomy, our choices are being taken from us as well. How to create a sense of choice for our lives. If you’re feeling less motivated, there’s a good reason for that. And however we can still feel connected to people around us in a safe way.

Jordan Spikes: Genuinely ask what’s wrong. I’ve noticed a real difference now. Can I ask what’s going on to try to work toward a different solution?

You are doing the best you can and your kids are doing the best they can. And teachers are doing the best they can. No one asked for this. Give yourself the grace to sometimes feel things are not okay and that’s okay.

Tamar Shames: Our job as parents is to do our best to create a safe home environment. 

Social workers respond to challenges of COVID-19

Mrs. Debbie Cardash, REACH,  Ms. Carly Krawetz, social worker at Hillel Torah, Mr. Phil Zbaraz, counselor at Ida Crown Jewish Academy and  Rabbi Avrohom Shimon Moller, ATT all gathered on Zoom for a community-wide session to support parents navigating homeschool and parenting during Coronavirus.

Previous sessions were forward-looking: What’s it going to look like? Now, we are nine weeks in. We have figured out many things. It is time to move forward and anticipate the issues we will be facing in the coming weeks.

How will we manage the uncertainty in a way that reflects our values? We are looking at a new reality. What should we address heading into the unknown?

Dr. Phil:

Let’s look at where we just came from? We were told all we needed to do was “shelter in place.” People seemed to be able to do that task. Now we seem to be in a transitional phase. It is not so simplistic anymore since there are multiple layers now – financial, religious, relationships. Each new dimension adds more complexity. So, the phase now is more complicated and will require more sensitivity as to who we are and what our values are. People become more reactive during these times and act in a way that is not out of calm. This leads us down different paths when we need to make decisions.

Carly:

We will begin to see in our homes that people want to do different things in our homes. Setting rules and boundaries needs to happen in a supportive and respectful way. This will look different in different families.

Rabbi Moller:

We all respond to an urgent crisis as human beings with adrenalin and strength. Eventually we lose our heroism and our sense of selflessness as the reality continues for a while. Our regular personality comes through. The sprint is over but the marathon is still on.

Debbie:

When we are receiving conflicting information, how can parents navigate this? Children push back and can find opinions that support their viewpoint.

Dr. Phil:

There’s no one size fits all approach. We all approach things differently. When illness strikes, people reevaluate their lives. On a global scale the world has been shaken out of autopilot. We always did things as part of our routine. Now the world has been asked to take off the autopilot setting, and conscious decisions govern everything. The level of change, decision making, and awareness is unprecedented. It has caused people a lot of fatigue – compassion fatigue, quarantine fatigue, zoom fatigue, etc. Cannot gloss over these things.

Carly:

We want to get back to our normal lives. Need to do self-care especially now since every stress becomes a real challenge to maintain control and happiness in our homes.

Debbie:

Our cognitive functions are working way to hard. This contributes to fatigue. We all need to own and honor that it is harder to do things which sets us up for frustration and diminished demeanor. Don’t take on hard conversations if you are not prepared for it.

We all suffer from momentary lapses of judgement. Need to rally the troops and ask shaalos and model this for the children. It is OK for our children to see how parents react to stress in a positive way.

Carly:

If you weren’t feeling frustrations and anxieties, that would be abnormal. We are all at a different place in our feelings.

Dr. Phil:

Our families are experiencing shedding of their routines/rituals/ typical responses and reactions and as much as people are trying to hold on to things, they will find that there are things that need to fall away especially if they affect a person’s ability to adapt. Do not hold onto things that will not help you cope and that will not help at this time.

Carly:

At the beginning we spoke about the importance of structuring the home during this time of e-learning. Now that we are almost through with this portion, you will figure out how to adjust to the changes that will take place over the summer.

Dr. Phil:

There is a sense of loss – Need to talk about the immediate milestones of our students that look different now. We are missing developmental milestones – graduations, class trips, other activities, Israel, etc.

Challenge – can no longer live in the imaginary moment – need to hit the pause button from that and focus on today. This can be a gift to ourselves – the “present moment” – and a greater understanding of who we are as a person. What can we do for our children with their “right now” needs? The slowdown of the world has caused us to pay more attention to the here and now.

Debbie:

It is OK to relish the moment. Playing games, spend time together, as much as there is loss there is tremendous opportunity for growth.

How can we advocate effectively for our children with the school? What are some tips to reach out for your child?

Carly:

Teachers and staff are certainly willing to work with parents at this time to help their children. Any feedback and constructive feedback from parents are welcome. Making individual plans is important. Be honest and reach out to the child’s teacher in a respectful, kind way. Teachers are still able to make accommodations and modifications.

RABBI MOLLER:

Underscore that this has to be done with respect. The teachers are also under a lot of stress and fatigue. They are human beings as well.

Dr Phil:

With teenagers, it is vital for part of their day to have an area carved out for their own individual creativity. Parent could help identify what those areas of creativity are for their children. Many of these opportunities for creativity have been taken away from them. Families should come together and talk about this.

Carly:

This is very important.

Debbie

Harder for adults to carve out their own creativity. Need to take time for this.

Rabbi Moller:

We need to respect the human need for ceremony and symbolism. These life cycle events are extremely important. Need to be able to use our creativity to create something memorable out of the current situation. Seize the moment and incorporate the positive aspects of anything that that we cannot do because of the current crisis. We cannot replace the anticipation and excitement about major events that are cancelled but we need to be creative to make these replacement events memorable. Ironically, because they will be different and novel , they will be much more memorable.

Debbie:

Children are resilient and if we act appropriately to them, it might be enough for them.

How honest should we be with our children about our handling of the uncertainty?

Dr Phil:

Our bodies don’t lie, and our kids have an amazing capacity to read us. So, by trying to hide it away you will cause more disturbance for your children as they see a dissonance  between your words and your body language. Part of the human condition is to feel things. It is a life lesson that you can feel things but it does not mean you will fall apart. You can work through them and transcend them. I am not a believer in putting a mask on and protect child from a natural human response.

Debbie:

It needs to be a balance. Temper your feelings with developmental realities. Perhaps for younger children need to be more protective. Whatever children think of is probably worse than what is actually happening. So, need to share basic truthful statements – these can be a gift to all. Sometimes say, “I don’t have all the answers; when I do, I will share.” Explain your non-answer.

Carly:

Honesty is the best policy. Try to make sure kids see you are in control, keep routines, and keep them loved and share/focus on what is good in the household at this time.

Debbie:

Structure is always important. That helps everyone. If it falters once it a while that is ok, bring it back. This will help with mental health and physical health hygiene.

Carly:

Separate the weeks from the weekends.

Final question:

What are a couple of things that we should think about as we go into the next phase of the unknown?

Dr. Phil:

It is vital to really have a very conscious appreciation of our faith and values – that is from where we draw our faith. The doing part of our day is important but it requires an acknowledgement of the Source from  which we draw our strength. We feel much stronger when we are part of something much greater than ourselves.

Carly:

As we navigate these choppy waters, set rules and boundaries in your house. Don’t forget to enjoy the small stuff. Don’t forget to breathe. Pay attention to where you are now and where you are going.

Rabbi Moller:

When we use the term unprecedented, realize that it’s a matter of perspective. We need our faith. We have had much suffering in our history. It is unprecedented for us, but we can learn from previous historical situations to give us chizuk and  to prevail.

How to thank a teacher

This year’s National Teachers’ Appreciation week could not have come at a better time. With every parent now forced into the role of their child’s teacher during the COVID-19 pandemic, is there any parent of school age children out there who doesn’t think teachers deserve a raise?! We encourage all our parents to do what they can to recognize and express hakarat hatov (appreciation) to their children’s teachers.

As the Chicago Jewish community’s hub of quality learning, funding and advocacy, we have seen firsthand the works it has required of our schools to facilitate virtual learning practically overnight. This unprecedented time in our modern history has forced all of us to adapt, and teachers have led the charge in ensuring children keep learning and growing even now. They’ve taken steps to assure the well being of their students and have been a calming force of normalcy for students facing so much uncertainty. And they’ve done this on top of managing their own families’ struggles at home.

Following are a few ways you and your children can thank teachers

  1. Write a letter or email: It’s human nature to speak up with complaints, but when is the last time you took the time to offer thanks and gratitude for a job well done? Take a moment to specifically express your gratitude to your children’s teachers. Point out what you have noticed has gone well. A hand written letter or card from you and your child or even an email can go a long way to support a teacher. If you send an email, consider Ccing the administration so that they can also recognize a job well done.
  2. Make a sign and send a photo: Teachers typically enter this profession because love what they do, and right now they are missing the opportunity to connect with their students. Even if your children are having Zoom classes or phone calls with their teachers, it’s not the same as being together. Take a photo of your child with a card or poster he or she made, and you will no doubt make a teacher’s day. If you and your school are on social media, post it there and tag the school to encourage everyone to do the same.
  3. Give a gift: Monetary gifts certainly aren’t necessary, but they do go a long way. Everyone is shopping online these days, so a gift card to Amazon or Target is easy and appreciated. Some of the ATT schools are collecting funds for teacher gifts too, so we encourage you to join this if you can. Not all gifts have to cost money, though. We are a tight knit community, so if you know a teacher personally, your child could deliver a handmade craft like a friendship bracelet, beaded key chain or painted rock to a deserving teacher.
  4. Nominate a teacher for the Hartman Family Foundation Teacher of the Year Award: We believe so strongly in the power of recognizing teachers that we host an annual teacher award where three teachers earn a cash prize and the honor of being named an educator of the year. We can think of no better way to express your gratitude to our teachers than to nominate them for this esteemed award that will be given out next year.

Collaborative Problem Solving

Conventional wisdom about behavior reward and punishment

Conventional wisdom leads us to believe that because of poor (passive, permissive, inconsistent) parenting, kids learn to use challenging behaviors to get what they want. Therefore, the logical solution is to motivate compliant behavior through intensive, consistent programs of rewards, punishments and ignoring. Examples include listing target behaviors, creating charts of rewards/punishments and setting up currency systems. But the question is, do these generally tend to work?

Limitations of rewards and punishments

Setting up rewards systems like these can affect children in a number of ways. They can teach basic lessons, facilitate extrinsic motivation and clarify expectations. What they can not do, however, is help kids stay regulated, work long-term, facilitate intrinsic motivation (they can actually de-motivate kids), or teach thinking skills. Furthermore, reward and punishment systems can actually be consequential. If we are constantly telling our children that they are not trying hard enough or that they don’t care, eventually they will look like and act like they don’t care. Additionally, our chronic misbehaviors may actually be trying harder than anyone else to behave. So how then, do we deal with challenging behaviors? First, we must change our perspective.

How to deal with challenging behavior

Research in neuroscience has shown that challenging kids are delayed in the development of crucial cognitive (thinking) skills or have significant difficulty applying these skills when they are most needed. Areas of lacking skills include: Flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance and problem solving. If that’s the case, we must look at challenging behavior the same way we look at learning disabilities. The simple philosophy behind this logic is that KIDS DO WELL IF THEY CAN. If they are challenging us, it is because something is getting in the way. It is our job as parents to figure out what that is so that we can help them! 

Intrinsic Motivation

While it often seems that kids aren’t motivated or don’t care, motivation is generally not the culprit for our children’s misbehavior. By understanding what builds intrinsic motivation we will be able to help our misbehaving children feel invested and excited about their day to day lives. According to the Self-Determination Theory, there are three components to feeling intrinsically motivated.

1. Competence: Our children need to feel competent with the tasks they are given. If they are lagging skills they need for a certain daily task (i.e. getting dressed independently or doing their math homework), chances are we will see some challenging behavior.

2. Autonomy: Our children need to feel a sense of independence in their lives as well as opportunities to make choices.

3. Relatedness: Our children should feel they have a close and trusting relationship with us, their parents. With these ideas in mind, we begin to rethink they way we think about challenging behavior.

Skill not Will

Challenging kids lack SKILL not WILL. They are misbehaving because something is missing. Behind most challenging behavior is: a problem to be solved and skills to be trained. Here’s a good equation to keep in mind:

Skills > Expectation = Adaptive Behavior

Skills < Expectation = Challenging Behavior

Lagging skills alone do not cause challenging behavior. Challenging behavior occurs when someone is presented with a problem or situation they lack the skills to handle well. Through this lens, it is our job to both assess which skills are lagging and then help our children learn these skills in an incrementally appropriate fashion. How do we begin to do this?

Ways to help kids solve problems

Look for triggers:

The first thing to look for when trying to help your child manage his/her challenging behavior are triggers. What are the demands that your child is having a hard time meeting? You want to do a situational analysis. Ask yourself the following questions: What is happening before the challenging behavior? What are the contexts/situations which lead to challenging behavior? Who is the child with? What time of day/where is your child when these behaviors occur? Once you have more information you will be able to begin to identify patterns and glean a better understanding of why your child is having a hard time. 

Use empathy:

Once you have a better understanding of what your child’s triggers might be, you can begin to have a conversation with him or her. The key to a successful collaborative problem solving conversation is EMPATHY! The goal of the conversation it to gather information from our child and better understand his or her perspective. When we empathize we are not judgmental, but rather open and curious and even if we don’t agree with it, are willing to accept our child’s perspective. 

Drill down:

What do we do if our child won’t talk? How do we get him or her to talk more? There are four “drilling down” tools which are helpful when it comes to getting our children to be active participants in a conversation.

  1. Clarifying questions: Start open-ended and then narrow in
  2. Educated guessing: Play 20 questions or Hot/Cold
  3. Reflective Listening: reflect in your own words to make sure you understand
  4. Reassurance: “I’m not saying no”, “I’m just trying to understand,” “I know there must be an important reason why…”

Explain your concern

Once we feel that we better understand our child’s perspective and have given them a meaningful chance to be heard, it is our turn to explain our perspective. Rather than start the conversation with ”I hear you but…”, start by stating your concern. Make sure your child understands your concern. If your child escalates at this point, go back to the empathy step. Once you have two sets of concerns/perspectives on the table and your child is calm, it is time to come up with some solutions. collaborative solutions

Collaborate on soutions

When it comes to solving problems, let your child take the first stab at it. It is crucial that you come up with a solution that works for the two of you. If your child doesn’t have any ideas, come to the conversation prepared with a few of your own. Very often you will need to “test” a solution for a week or two see if it works and then re-group to assess. The first solution seldom solves the problem durably. Don’t feel discouraged if you don’t get it right away, this process takes time!

Build Skills

When you engage your child in a collaborative conversation and make him or her your partner in solving problems you are simultaneously helping them build fundamental skills. Empathy, perspective-taking, flexibility, and problem-solving just to name a few. With these skills, we are setting our children up for the task of solving problems independently as they grow and mature.

Important reminders

Some important things to keep in mind as you go through with this process with your children:

  • This is not a “one shot solution.” It takes time and practice! But the good thing is, you can’t really mess up, because in the process you are building a stronger relationship with your child.
  • It is very important to not rush through the stages and to be prepared for each one.
  • Expect the unexpected and avoid any preconceived ideas of solutions.
  • Difficult problems require revisiting, go slow to go fast!

Teachers Gather for Learning, Collaboration

This year’s system-wide educational conference on Feb. 17 was incredible, bringing more renowned national and local education experts to work with our 500 ATT teachers than ever. The Rabbi Dr. Leonard C. Mishkin Teachers Educational Conference occurs each year on Presidents’ Day and is the largest professional development (PD) gathering for ATT teachers.

The program is an opportunity for teachers to learn new ideas and methodologies in teaching, both in Judaic and general studies. Teachers are also able to collaborate with colleagues from throughout the ATT system in workshops and round table discussions. While this program is just one of many professional development opportunities for educators that the ATT offers throughout the year, the sheer number of attendees and speakers makes it the most exciting.

Chicago is the only city in North America with a system-wide umbrella organization like the ATT for all the local Jewish day schools, which makes this PD day an exciting program that is unique to our city.

Click here to see some of the national and local experts who joined us.

The response to the program was overwhelmingly positive, both from the visiting speakers and from the educators.

Speakers and partners had this to say:

“It was wonderful to be a part of and so special to see the range of educators represented. I would imagine that beneath the surface there may be tensions but to pull everyone together l’shem chinukh under one umbrella was as impressive as it was moving. Kol ha-kavod.
There is a difference between yekkeshness and professionalism yet you blended the two together beautifully in my every encounter with your office and with the program. Would that all of Jewish education functioned that way.”
Rabbi Dr. Jay Goldmintz
“It was a special experience for me seeing such a range of educators together for a day of learning, the organization and time that must have gone into the planning was apparent as things were very well thought out and coordinated – really amazing!”
Becky Udman, Love and Logic teacher

“I was so impressed with the teacher in-service! What a wonderful opportunity for all those educators to learn from a multitude of diverse presenters.” -Samantha Spolter, JCFS

“It is a privilege and a gift to be able to learn together in our close-knit group. It was great to learn from clinicians doing the work and developing specialized programs to meet the needs of our community after a tragedy. We have such a wealth of talent and knowledge in our Jewish community and I appreciate the chance to be a part of it.” -Elisa Rotman, LCSW

Participants had this to say:

“I was only signed up for the first class that Becky Udman (Love and Logic) gave and I just stayed for the others. She was truly amazing. Everything she said was so tangible and right on target.” -Lizzy Zupnik

“Thank you so much for the excellent presenters you brought in today for us teachers. They were very practical and given over so well!! We appreciate all your hard work always on our behalf.” -Elana Dubovick, Arie Crown

“Thank you for all your hard work in orchestrating what went into today! Months of preparation and endless hours of work. Job very well done, and I look forward to next year, iyH!” -Rivkie Zirkin, Yeshiva Ohr Boruch

“As I was leaving today, many teachers were commenting on how great today was. Yasher Koach on all your hard work!” -Margaret Matanky, Arie Crown

“It is a privilege and a gift to be able to learn together in our close-knit group. It was great to learn from clinicians doing the work and developing specialized programs to meet the needs of our community after a tragedy. We have such a wealth of talent and knowledge in our Jewish community, and I appreciate the chance to be a part of it. -Elisa Rotman, LCSW at Sager Solomon Schechter Day School

Courses were on topics as diverse as the speakers and teachers themselves, including topics like:

  • Preparing students to succeed in life by developing their Formative Five Success Skills – empathy, self-control, integrity, embracing diversity and grit 
  • Teaching tefillah and giving children the gift of joy in learning
  • Data-driven instruction
  • Auditory processing disorders in the classroom
  • Prerequisites to connect with students
  • Differentiated instruction in Judaic studies
  • Holocaust education
  • Partnering with parents
  • and more

Parenting Program to Inspire Our Children

Close to 200 parents of school-age children joined the Associated Talmud Torahs on Motzaei Shabbos, December 14, 2019 to attend the Thirty-third Annual Rabbi Isaac Mayefsky Memorial Lecture. This annual parenting program featured the captivating speaker, educator and coach in New York and throughout the United States, Rabbi Levi Feldman.

The presentation, entitled “Inspiring Our Children in 2020,” focused on strategies for effective parenting. Rabbi Feldman addressed how to enhance relationships with children, how to teach values, make these values stick, increase cooperation, and inspire children to go the extra mile. He presented the following ideas that can help parents accomplish this:

Parents should remind themselves that each child is a gift and diamond to whom one must connect with mind and heart. This is a daily endeavor.

Using the acronym “CLAP” one can be reminded of these important constructs when relating to children:


a. CONNECT – seek to understand before being understood.
i.Children want our quality TIME.
ii.Face your children when you speak and listen to them – they need undivided attention with active listening.
iii. Dignity – they are Hashem’s children, be positive in your remarks to them even when admonishing them.
iv.Validate – our children don’t necessarily look for our solutions. They want to be validated whenever possible.

b. LEAD – with a blend of kindness/caring, accountability/responsibility.
i. Set clear and realistic expectations.
ii. In positive ways, let children know what options are currently available.
iii. Confident – find short positive words said with confidence.
iv.Remind them what they will gain from this.

c. ACTION
i. Give them a taste of success.
ii. “Catch them doing good” – create the moment to celebrate, transform the moment.
iii. Praise – focus on the specific act, not the person. Don’t use generalities when praising.
iv. Celebrate whenever possible – “I noticed that you…”
v. Create an emotional bank account in which you make a minimal of five positive deposits to one negative withdrawal.

d. PRIDE
i. Show your pride in having a gift from Hashem – the Neshama of your child/children. Children will see and feel your pride and joy.
ii. Opportunity to connect with Hashem every moment should be part of your life.
iii. Children see our passion more than any lecture.
iv. Joy – if we do out commandments with joy, then your home will be a place where yiddishkeit is exciting – show your pride to be a Jew.

This lecture is part of the ATT’s expanded program designed to address the challenges of creative teaching and rewarding parenting. Over the years, it has become an excellent resource for parents of children of all ages. 

Rabbi Isaac Mayefsky was a gifted educator who, in the course of more than 40 years of communal service, developed many key programs within the Associated Talmud Torahs, including the Russian Transitional Program and the Oscar & Bernice Novick P’TACH Learning Disabled Program.

For more information, contact the Associated Talmud Torahs of Chicago at attnews@att.org.